Chapter 7: The Courage to Stop Negative Thinking and Gossip
CHOOSING PRESENCE PP. 72-75
Examine how gossip serves as an external manifestation of negative thinking and its effects on relationships and self-perception.
Summary
This section breaks down gossip for what it really is—a habit that comes from our own insecurities and judgments. It challenges us to take a closer look at why we engage in gossip and what it’s actually doing to us and the people around us. Instead of falling into the trap of talking about others, we’re encouraged to approach our conversations with more empathy and presence, making our interactions more meaningful and grounded.
Gossip in any communal setting—the workplace, church, sports teams, school environments, volunteer organizations, and, of course, our families—is one of the more prominent and pervasive ways that we see our negative thinking play out in our lives, and it is a cancer. It not only stirs our own inner conflicts, fears, and insecurities, but it also creates a negative atmosphere in the external world around us. Like any other form of negative thinking, it prevents us from being able to stay in the present and connect with God’s Spirit.
— Choosing Presence, p. 72
A Moment for Reflection
Pause for a moment and reflect on the following three questions:
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This question helps you explore the deeper reasons behind gossip and recognize any unmet emotional needs that might be fueling it.
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This encourages honest self-reflection on the emotional and spiritual impact of gossip in your daily life.
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This prompts you to take an intentional step toward breaking the cycle of gossip and cultivating more meaningful interactions.
Deepening the Practice: Journal Prompt
Gossip often feels harmless or even like a way to bond with others, but Choosing Presence challenges us to see it for what it really is—another form of negative thinking that pulls us away from presence and peace. When we gossip, we’re usually acting from a place of insecurity, judgment, or the desire to fit in. But instead of bringing true connection, it stirs inner conflict and creates negativity in the spaces we share with others. The more we become aware of how gossip affects us and those around us, the more we can make intentional choices about how we speak and engage with others.
Think of a recent time when you engaged in or listened to gossip. What drew you into the conversation, and how did you feel afterward? Did it bring a true sense of connection, or did it create inner unease? How might choosing a different response—redirecting the conversation, staying silent, or speaking with kindness—have shifted the energy of that moment? Going forward, what intention can you set to be more mindful of your words and their impact?