The Choice to Stop Gossip: How Our Words Affect Our Peace
Have you ever caught yourself in the middle of a conversation about someone — and felt that small lift inside as you shared the “inside scoop”? Notice what comes next: a faint unease, a quiet distance from the peace you were carrying just moments before. That is not a coincidence. When we speak ill of others, we lose our own connection to God.
In Chapter 7 of Choosing Presence, Jim Heaney names gossip for what it is: “negative thinking by another name” — a cancer that erodes our inner life. We imagine gossip is about other people, but it is really about us. We put others down to lift ourselves up. The Desert Fathers and Mothers called this murmuring, and warned that even a few words of complaint, repeated often enough, “will eat away at the foundation of our spiritual life.”
The good news is that we are not at the mercy of our thought chatter. The Practice of Presence interrupts the cycle. When we pause and take three conscious breaths, the controlling power shifts from our racing thoughts to God’s Spirit within us. From that quiet place, there is simply nothing to gossip about.
This week, before any word leaves your lips about someone else, try a simple filter: Is it true? Is it kind? And if not, breathe instead.
Choosing Presence is an Illuman Partner Program.
Brian Mueller – Poet, Community Organizer, and Spiritual Guide
Brian Mueller is a poet and community organizer based in Dayton, Ohio. He serves as Director of Education & Engagement for ChoosingPresence.org and is an active member of the Ohio Chapter of Illuman, where he co-leads writing retreats that support men’s spiritual journeys. As a writer, Brian is known for his candid, accessible poetry, with works including Cock‑A‑Doodle‑Doo: 100 Morning Haiku, the Poem of the Day series, and the Bull Series. Inspired by poets like Rumi and Mary Oliver, he believes everyone carries the voice of a poet within.
