The Power of Non-Reaction: Choosing Peace Over Being Right
There is an old line worth remembering: you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. Someone says the wrong thing, takes the wrong tone — and before we’ve finished hearing it, our body has tightened, our mind is drafting a reply, and the urge to set them straight has taken over. We mistake reacting for responding, and tell ourselves the goal is to be right.
In Choosing Presence, Jim Heaney describes a quieter possibility. “At that moment,” he writes, “I can take a few deep, intentional breaths and stop the negative thoughts before they turn to emotions and subsequently into negative reactions.” That short pause — what we call a Holy Pause — is everything. It is the gap where God’s Spirit, not the ego, gets to choose what happens next.
Non-reaction is not passivity or silence as suppression. It is the freedom that comes when we are no longer ruled by the need to defend, correct, or win. From the still place within, we can listen without bracing. We stop “becoming the problem,” as Jim puts it, by reacting to it. We are simply being — present, grounded, available to God.
This week, when you feel the pull to react, try this: count to ten. Breathe. And ask, “Is peace more important to me right now than being right?” You may find the answer is yes.
Choosing Presence is an Illuman Partner Program.
Brian Mueller – Poet, Community Organizer, and Spiritual Guide
Brian Mueller is a poet and community organizer based in Dayton, Ohio. He serves as Director of Education & Engagement for ChoosingPresence.org and is an active member of the Ohio Chapter of Illuman, where he co-leads writing retreats that support men’s spiritual journeys. As a writer, Brian is known for his candid, accessible poetry, with works including Cock‑A‑Doodle‑Doo: 100 Morning Haiku, the Poem of the Day series, and the Bull Series. Inspired by poets like Rumi and Mary Oliver, he believes everyone carries the voice of a poet within.
