A Simple Practice, Profound Change
Oswaldo Montoya is an educator, activist, and MSP Facilitator with over 25 years of experience engaging men and boys in building a more gender-equitable, violence-free society. Nicaraguan-American and based in Washington, D.C., he has held global leadership roles with the MenEngage Alliance and co-founded Central America’s first Group of Men Against Gender Violence. He is the author of Swimming Against the Current and has led trainings, research, and policy development across six world regions. A former Fulbright scholar, Oswaldo holds an M.A. in Educational and Developmental Psychology from Boston College.
Oswaldo’s Experience with the Practice of Presence
I’ve been doing what I call this “form of meditation” every morning for the past four weeks. I begin each day with the morning practice—usually 15 to 20 minutes—and then, throughout the day, I pause every hour for the three conscious breaths. I have to admit I haven’t yet been able to integrate the journaling component with the three questions. I’m halfway through reading the book Choosing Presence. The results so far have honestly surprised me.
I’ve been practicing different forms of meditation for over 25 years, and while this one appears quite simple, it feels profoundly transformative. I feel more at peace and calm each day. The worries are still there—finances, family health issues, the political situation—but their power over me has weakened. They no longer trigger the anxiety they used to. They’re still thoughts I notice, but they don’t generate the same emotional charge.
What’s even more meaningful for me is that when I do get upset about something—which still happens—the emotional reaction doesn’t linger like it used to. I used to replay upsetting experiences for hours, sometimes even days. Now, they dissolve much more quickly—often within just a couple of hours or a bit more.
One powerful element of this practice that feels new to me is the intention—specifically, the intention of being in God, or immersed in spiritual energy. My previous contemplative practices have been mostly secular, without religious or Christian language. I’ve had issues with the word “God,” partly because it’s been so manipulated and distorted. I struggle to shake the old image of God as a white-bearded man above us. But despite that, I gave this practice a try—and I’m grateful I did.
I owe deep thanks to my brothers in Illuman who introduced me to this practice, the book, and the app.
Another essential new ingredient for me is the conscious and controlled breathing. In the past, I would simply observe my breath during meditation—which is valuable, but often too subtle. I’d easily get swept up in the stream of thoughts. Now, with this practice, I take full, deep inhalations and long, intentional exhalations— doubling the length of the exhale. Because I’m focusing on the breath in such a deliberate way—fully filling and emptying my lungs—there’s less room for mental distractions.
As directed by the book and app, I also use the words “Jesus” and “Yahweh.” These help anchor my mind. I rarely find myself lost in thought during the practice now.
Finally, the hourly pause for three conscious breaths has been a true gift. I’m privileged to be able to do it most of the time during the week because I work from home. I recognize it may be more challenging for those working in public or in busy office environments. I hope it’s possible to adapt.
This is where my practice stands so far. I offer deep thanks to the author, and to all those who promote and teach this powerful path.
