My Reflection On Contemplation
Joe Lonergan grew up in Los Angeles and now lives in Carlsbad, California, with his wife, Carmen. He is Director of Student Services and Spiritual Formation at the Franciscan School of Theology and serves on the San Diego Diocesan Review Board, offering insight as a survivor in cases of clergy sexual abuse. A longtime leader with Illuman, he has been active for nearly thirty years as a retreat coordinator, speaker, and team member on Men’s Rites of Passage across the U.S. Joe contributed a chapter to Rising Above Sexual Abuse and has collaborated with Anne Richardson, author of Not Alone, to offer workshops for those accompanying trauma survivors. He also provides spiritual direction and guidance to men of all faiths.
During my life, I have engaged in different prayer forms. As a child, I was told that prayer was saying known prayers both in the home and at church. In other words, prayers that everyone knew by heart and said over and over again. The charismatic renewal introduced me to singing prayers and praise and worship. These forms of prayer were well and good and served me well, but it was not until I developed a contemplative practice that I discovered prayer was really about presence and even more importantly relationship.
It connected to my time in nature where, ever since my youth, I felt I was in the presence of something larger than myself. Silence and presence were the only ways I could walk in this environment. I felt more in the presence of God than church and I became an avid backpacker and one who loved to go for quiet walks in nature to be present to that which I could not name but knew to be real and very present to me.
So, when I was introduced to contemplative prayer, it became the prayer form for me. What I have found is that it is a way of being. By taking time to stop what I am doing and to be present, breathe, rest in the peace that is being offered to me, I notice a difference in the way I live and respond to what is happening in my day-to-day life. I am better able to take a step back and not react to contentious or uncomfortable situations. I am a better listener to others. I do not have to perform but can just be, and silence is often a friend. It allows me to be more open to what may come up in my life.
