Escaping the Ego: A Simple Guide to Finding Peace in the Present Moment
Finding Calm in the Chaos: How to Break Free from Your Unconscious Mind
We’ve all been there: It’s 5:00 a.m., you haven't even stepped out of bed yet, and your mind is already racing with deadlines, bills, and family obligations. This is exactly what happened to Sam, a successful CPA who, despite his outward success, lived in a near-constant state of "inner noise" and anxiety.
If you feel like you're "physically here" but your mind is always somewhere else, you aren't alone. According to author Jim Heaney, many of us are living "superficially," trapped in a cycle of compulsive thinking that robs us of our peace.
The Trap of the Unconscious Mind
Sigmund Freud described the unconscious mind as a reservoir of thoughts, memories, and motivations that sit just outside our awareness but still pull the strings of our daily lives. It’s a sinister cycle:
Living in the Past or Future: The unconscious mind thrives on memory (regret) or anticipation (worry).
The Ego’s Grip: Our ego feeds on these thoughts, creating a "protective shell" that separates us from reality and forces us to constantly compare ourselves to others.
The "False Self": We often mistake our professional status or bank account for our true identity, leading to a "spiritual wasteland".
As Carl Jung famously noted, ninety-five percent of people are unconscious ninety-five percent of the time. When we are in this state, we aren't truly living; we are reacting to a "mind-made fiction".
Why Fear is a Future-Focussed Fiction
Have you noticed that fear never actually exists in the now? Fear is always about what might happen—losing a job, being diminished, or, at the very core, the fear of death.
We cannot face something that isn't real yet. However, we can face anything in the present moment because the present moment is where fear ceases to exist. When we anchor ourselves in the "now," we find the only access point to God’s Spirit and our own inner freedom.
The Practice of Presence: Your "Clear Before and After"
Stopping the ego from running the show requires a shift in awareness. It’s not just a relief; it’s a cure. By practicing stillness with intention, you create a spiritual foundation that stays with you all day.
Try this simple "Stillness" practice today:
Breathe Deeply: Inhale through your nose, focusing entirely on the breath filling your lungs
Exhale Slowly: Make your out-breath longer than your in-breath.
Ask Three Questions: While breathing, ask yourself: Am I present now? How do I feel inside? Do I have a sense of peace?
Even if you don't feel instant peace, the act of conscious breathing renews your connection to the present. You are not alone, and you don't have to be a hostage to your thoughts anymore.
Book Club Discussion Questions: Choosing Presence – Chapter 1
To help your group dive deeper into the themes of "The Unconscious Self," here are a few questions to guide your conversation:
Recognizing the "Sam" Moments: In the chapter, Sam is stressed before he even gets out of bed. Have you ever had a "Sam morning"? What are the specific "mind-made fictions" or future worries that typically pull you out of the present?
The Ego’s Identity: The text defines the ego as an image of yourself—derived from what you tell yourself or what others say—that you've accepted as truth. How much of your self-esteem is currently "hitched" to external things like professional status, bank accounts, or comparisons to others?
The "Superficial" Life: Thomas Merton describes living superficially as being "always outside ourselves" and "doing many things that we do not really want to do". When do you feel most "divided" or pulled in directions that don't align with your true self?
The Reality of Fear: Jim Heaney suggests that fear is always in the future and that we cannot create inner chaos in the present moment. Do you agree that "fears do not exist in the present moment"? How does this perspective change how you view your current anxieties?
The Power of Stillness: The author claims that a sense of union with God is experienced through stillness. If you tried the "Three Questions" breathing exercise, did it change your internal state, even slightly? Why do you think it is so difficult for us to stay in that "conscious" state?
This article is based on the insights and teachings found in Chapter 1: The Unconscious Self from the book Choosing Presence by Jim Heaney. The concepts of the unconscious mind, the role of the ego, and the practical exercises for reclaiming the present moment are derived directly from his work on understanding the origins of stress and anxiety.
